Shop More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist Member kalemMale/Canada Groups :iconwinter218: winter218
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 176 Deviations 6,251 Comments 8,476 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Critiques

Candy by Pikapetey

hmm lets see. troll lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol...

Donate

lordkalem has started a donation pool!
90 / 1,000
please

You must be logged in to donate.

Groups

Activity


people always tell you that you will be alright. they tell you that if you just get out more or have more confidence that you will find someone. but we all know its not true.

i used to go out a lot. i would walk around down town for hours. id go to parties i didn't like. id smile and pretend like i have confidence in what i was saying or doing. 

but these things wont make people want to be around you. not when you can only pretend for so long. not when walking around and going out is a physical chore that gets harder and harder to do as your body slowly destroys itself with defects you can thank you parents for.


iv met so many people. talked about so many subjects walked more miles then i care to think around the same 3-4 city blocks. 

iv stumbled into places where iv seen really cool looking warn down parts of town and have gone to almost every restaurant and strange shop i could find. yet you cant just find someone. in the end that someone has to be looking for someone to. and that someone is never you. 

iv met so many people. more then i can even remember. 

iv fallen for more people then i think most will in their whole lives. and iv been shot down by.. oddly. next to no one.

how can someone shoot you down, when you never ask the question. why must i ask the question. why must i be the one to approach them, why must it be me.

the last time i asked a question like that, it turned out i was talking to someone i already knew but i just didn't know it. and i knew they had someone already. 

that's what happens when you know to many people. you cant recognise who you do or don't know. and so you forget. 

its on nights like tonight however, that im reminded even more then ever how alone i am.

i feel like crying. but i don't because i know i have reason to. 


why must i be the one to ask. why cant someone ask me.

even more. why must i be like the others. why cant i have a nice beard and long hair. why can't i look how i want to. why do i have to change how i like myself so that some one MIGHT ask me. why do i need to work out and get buff instead of spending my time how i wish. why can't i just be "good enough". 

why am i not even "good enough".


i see people who look worse off then me with people. i see people who don't look half as good as me with people. how did that happen.

are they good enough? or do they just have better luck then i do... maybe their someone they have known for years or since childhood. 

maybe they have a nice job where they met their someone.

is that what i need. a job. do i need to force my aching body to work so that i can attract someone. do i need to just stick around one person for years until they finally see me as more then just a friend.

or even as a friend. a friend would be nice. but iv forgotten what friends are even like. what's it like to spend time with people. be near them and talk to them.


what is or isn't allowed when around them.. i don't know more then the basics. 


i used to talk a lot. i used to be a "know it all". now i don't even bother to open my mouth. because i know that what i say will be stupid and wrong. and even if im right it wont matter. people will still shoot me down as if we are in some kind of argument when all im trying to do is have a descent conversation with someone. 

someone... what's the point in meeting someone. why do i want them. why do i need them. why can't i just be happy with the roof over my head and my nice computer. my bed and my life at home.
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: give me a suggestion
  • Reading: nothing but DA
  • Watching: again nothing but DA
  • Playing: starmade, minecraft, league of legends.
  • Drinking: Hot chocolate with EggNog
yeah... what?

well if that's still a thing then i shall princess up my male character mofos.
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: give me a suggestion
  • Reading: nothing but DA
  • Watching: again nothing but DA
  • Playing: starmade, minecraft, league of legends.
  • Drinking: Hot chocolate with EggNog
people always tell you that you will be alright. they tell you that if you just get out more or have more confidence that you will find someone. but we all know its not true.

i used to go out a lot. i would walk around down town for hours. id go to parties i didn't like. id smile and pretend like i have confidence in what i was saying or doing. 

but these things wont make people want to be around you. not when you can only pretend for so long. not when walking around and going out is a physical chore that gets harder and harder to do as your body slowly destroys itself with defects you can thank you parents for.


iv met so many people. talked about so many subjects walked more miles then i care to think around the same 3-4 city blocks. 

iv stumbled into places where iv seen really cool looking warn down parts of town and have gone to almost every restaurant and strange shop i could find. yet you cant just find someone. in the end that someone has to be looking for someone to. and that someone is never you. 

iv met so many people. more then i can even remember. 

iv fallen for more people then i think most will in their whole lives. and iv been shot down by.. oddly. next to no one.

how can someone shoot you down, when you never ask the question. why must i ask the question. why must i be the one to approach them, why must it be me.

the last time i asked a question like that, it turned out i was talking to someone i already knew but i just didn't know it. and i knew they had someone already. 

that's what happens when you know to many people. you cant recognise who you do or don't know. and so you forget. 

its on nights like tonight however, that im reminded even more then ever how alone i am.

i feel like crying. but i don't because i know i have reason to. 


why must i be the one to ask. why cant someone ask me.

even more. why must i be like the others. why cant i have a nice beard and long hair. why can't i look how i want to. why do i have to change how i like myself so that some one MIGHT ask me. why do i need to work out and get buff instead of spending my time how i wish. why can't i just be "good enough". 

why am i not even "good enough".


i see people who look worse off then me with people. i see people who don't look half as good as me with people. how did that happen.

are they good enough? or do they just have better luck then i do... maybe their someone they have known for years or since childhood. 

maybe they have a nice job where they met their someone.

is that what i need. a job. do i need to force my aching body to work so that i can attract someone. do i need to just stick around one person for years until they finally see me as more then just a friend.

or even as a friend. a friend would be nice. but iv forgotten what friends are even like. what's it like to spend time with people. be near them and talk to them.


what is or isn't allowed when around them.. i don't know more then the basics. 


i used to talk a lot. i used to be a "know it all". now i don't even bother to open my mouth. because i know that what i say will be stupid and wrong. and even if im right it wont matter. people will still shoot me down as if we are in some kind of argument when all im trying to do is have a descent conversation with someone. 

someone... what's the point in meeting someone. why do i want them. why do i need them. why can't i just be happy with the roof over my head and my nice computer. my bed and my life at home.
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: give me a suggestion
  • Reading: nothing but DA
  • Watching: again nothing but DA
  • Playing: starmade, minecraft, league of legends.
  • Drinking: Hot chocolate with EggNog

Journal History

deviantID

lordkalem's Profile Picture
lordkalem
kalem
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Canada
I like MLP.
I like video games.
I like art. no duh.
I love coffee.
I still play yu-gi-oh.

I may seem like a nobady. but to my friends im at least somebody ^^.

I Never tell a lie ^^. even if I wanted to I couldn't ^^.

I sometimes come off as mean or as a bully however I never intend to. When I give criticism or tell you that something is wrong I mean it and im not just saying it to make you mad.

so if i do make you angry please try to calm down. look at what I say. and either agree or disagree either one im fine with so long as you can try to be reasonable and logical.
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icona04tbaba:
a04tbaba Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYAYAYAYY
Reply
:iconminikitty1516:
minikitty1516 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014
HAPPY B-DAY!!! :iconballoonsplz: PartyHave your cake and eat it too :iconballoonsplz2: Airborne :iconbummiesplz::icondancingtardplz::iconbummiesplz:
Reply
:icona04tbaba:
a04tbaba Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED!! *Hug* ^_^
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)
RULES:
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 10 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!
1-3 you're bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're loved
Reply
:iconlordkalem:
lordkalem Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
boops ur nose
Reply
:icona04tbaba:
a04tbaba Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
XD ;P
Reply
:iconrainbro-stache:
Rainbro-Stache Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for watching! :iconrdsoawesomeplz:
Reply
:iconlordkalem:
lordkalem Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
boops ur nose
Reply
:iconnicksfluffyshit:
NicksFluffyShit Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG, hi Kahlem! How have you found me?
:iconlaplz:
Reply
:iconlordkalem:
lordkalem Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i have my ways, *caugh "anny" Caugh*
Reply
:iconnicksfluffyshit:
NicksFluffyShit Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Take this pill -> :iconpillsplz:
Then you get bether! ;D
Reply
Add a Comment: